Friday, February 27, 2009

Open thought's

Just picture yourself in a bad relationship or maybe picture youself as the abuser...Go into deep thought and express your feelings as you hit your partner or as your partner hits you, think about not just the physical abuse, but the verbal abuse also. Would you want to go through the pain, stress, and daily beatings?

Could this ever be you? You know the saying "never say never," well dont ever say never because I used to say "I'll never let someone treat me like that," lol no one can predict the future, but one sure can pick the person they want to be with for the rest of their life.

Even though I let my ex-boyfriend go, I still think of him a lot because there were some good times we had, but I rather do bad all by myself than to let someone look down upon me just to build their ego up.

Well I haven't got much to say today and I certainly want to get through someone's if their going through the same thing as me, just read my lastest blogs and read what I had to say and also make sure you check out the blog I plan on following for the next couple of weeks. John Shore is a very important man to me now because I am taking very good pointers from him and you should too!

Chow for now, Lil' Bit

Friday, February 20, 2009

~!*A Follow Up On John Shore*!~

In my blog I will tell you a little about a guy named John Shore; he is an editor, a writer and a author. In his blog he talks about why women stay in bad relationships and how women should get out of a bad relationship. Also he talks about how women blam Eve for all their curses because most women do believe Eve is the reason why women go through so much drama in life. Shore wrote a whole book on Eve and why women thinks she cursed them and its called: Women In Bad Relationships: Eve's Curse Isn't Yours.

He goes on to say how men want to be in control and in power, "And men crave power so much that they'll take it in virtually any form they can get it. And they won't give up an iota of their power that they don't absolutely have to...etc" Isn't this a sign ladies??? Have you ever been through or seen something like this happen and couldn't help but notice that this is very much truly? I mean women do this too, but every so ofthen. As women we are the most important human being because without us who can men depend on? How can they make babies without us?

The way this man speaks is stupendous! I've learned quite a lot from this guy in over a matter of days you guys! He has a way with his words and he breaks them down so we as the readers can understand where he's coming from, and how he interprets it.

I've longed to find someone who can understand my pain, hurt and stress that I went through with my previous relationship because it seemed like any one who I talked to about it didn't really understand how I felt. That's why I want to talk about bad relationships in my blogs because I want to get through to someone else just as someone got through me and I would like to ask you guys to go to his pasge and check it out because he really gives great advice on bad relationships. If you could vist:

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Top 4 Reasons For a Wonderful Relationship

  1. Respect- When your in a relationship, it's supposed to be about trust, loving one another and the big key factor of all is respect. If you dont respect yourself, how in the world do you expect someone else to repsect you? Think about it.
  2. Trust- Ah, who can you trust now days? Basically, no one in my opinion you have to gain trust. When going into a relationship, whether its with friends, girls, or guys one has to work on gaining someones trust and keeping it there throughout the whole relationship.
  3. Fun- Who doesn't want to have fun in a relationship? One thing a couple should always do, have FUN! It'll make the relationship way better and you'll be closer to your significate other.
  4. Talking- This is one thing my ex-boyfriend did not want to do. I couldnt talked to him about nothing because he would always criticize me and tell me to stop talking to him about stupid things. As young people we go through a lot right, and we need someone to talk to. With him I stop talking to him about my personal life because I found out he would go back and tell others about my most secretive talks with him. I then realized we had no kind of trust in this relationship and without trust you have nothing.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

My Not so Comfort Zone

Have you ever experienced any rocky relationships, whether it was yours or not? Did you always think it was your fault the relationships turned out the way they did? Seeing and experiencing many relationships with guys, I’ve got a lot to express. A relationship is one of the best experiences to go through because one could learn from their experience and/or mistakes, that way they can reach out to someone else who is in the same predicament. People should set their standards and explore both who they are and who they are having a relationship with.

Previously a family member of mine had a crazy relationship with a guy that use to beat her, treat her like a wild animal, and talk to her roughly. Growing up around that rough environment made me think that was how females to be treated, so I was also treated like that in some of my relationships, in the past, and in the present.

This relationship I had with this guy, whose name I’m going to keep anonymous, I’ve been in for two years has been horrible, but don’t get me wrong the first half of it was oh so wonderful. After Mr. Anonymous felt like he had me where he wanted me to be, our relationship just started getting out of hand.

A couple of times my friends and I were going out to the club just to have fun and he would be there with his friends also, but knowing the type of person he is and the attitude he has I should have been smart and left. Well he would snatch me up to tell me he better not see me dancing by myself, with my friends or with no guys. The thoughts that are running through my head are “Who does this mother fucker thinks he is and who does he thinks he’s talking to? Why would I come to the club just to stand there and watch others around me danced their life away?” Although those were my thoughts, I couldn’t bring myself to say what I was thinking and the only words that came out my mouth was, yeah okay. Ignoring him and his stupid little attitude I danced like no other; forgetting he was even in the club and what he told me, I basically blanked out. Without notice he came out of nowhere, pulled my hair and dragged me off to yell at me and somewhat hit me. He would say, “Didn’t I tell your little stupid ass not to dance?” then he would hit me, Smack! My girls were ready to show down because they were worried about me and they didn’t like the way he treated me, so things was ugly at the club that night.

My boyfriend then, but ex-boyfriend now, and I fought in the club for about 20 minutes in the corner and on the dance floor, it was really embarrassing to get yelled at and hit on like I was his kid or something. When I got home that night I cried the whole night because I knew I had to leave him alone, but love wouldn’t let me go on about my business; every time I had the courage to leave, he’ll find a way to pull me back in. Anonymous called me apologizing saying it was my fault we got into a fight because I shouldn’t had danced after he gave me a warning. Sitting there looking at the phone with a dumb look on my face I couldn’t help but laugh because I was dealing with a lunatic, this relationship was hurtful, stressful and just plain ridiculous.

Developing a sense that the relationship wasn’t going so good; being treated like an unknown human made me realize that someone needed to set some standards and it was going to be me. Also I took the time out to explore and respect myself to find out who Ashley Calloway really is and why she let herself be treated the way she did. Sometimes as I reminisce about him and any other dumb relationship I had, it finally occurred to me that I didn’t want to be in any relationship, but I was looking for someone to replace my father. My father went to jail a long time ago and to fix that missing piece of the puzzle in my life I turned to the next best thing, guys.

On the other hand a very good lesson was learned and Ashley had a very good outcome of her experience on that relationship; she learned not rush into a relationship and take things slow. Also I have a little sister, I wanted to set some examples for her because I didn’t want her to go through the same thing as me and my family member had gone through. Going off to school to further my education and having long talks with Tyliqua, my sister, is a couple of examples I’ve set for her. She tells me that she wants to be just like me and I can see she’s following in my footsteps, so I have no choice but to be a big sister and lead her in the right direction.

So to sum it up, I can truly say there is much experience to share. Being a young female and forced to grow up I can give anyone advice on relationships. This relationship is the most and best experience I ever had in my young life because I learned from my mistakes, that way in the future I know what to look for in a man. Going through this relationship with Mr. Anonymous was like taking big steps in life, one thing I learned from this crazy relationship is: you have to choose what’s right for you and choose who is right for you. Having a rough relationship with this guy has opened my eyes to set an example for others so they won’t make the mistakes I made.

Friday, February 6, 2009

The four letter word!!!!

Love is nothing but a four letter word! I truly hate that I love him; it’s a deep kind of love too. When we first met we were inseparable, he was my peanut butter to my jelly!

After finding out he cheated on me with other girls, I was oh so heartbroken. Crying day after day and night after night, I realized I deserved better because my parents taught me to be strong and if I didn’t learn anything serious from my parents, one thing I did learn from them is never let a man bring you down.

Like a fool in love I came right back to him because if felt like I was leaving a piece of me behind. I eventually got pregnant by him and heard he had someone else pregnant also. Stress and pain was endured throughout my body and I truly believe he was the reason why I had a miscarriage; I was always stressed out by him. Being young and in love is not good at all for nobody.

Finally to sum it all up I am single and on my grind now. At first I didn’t care about anything or anyone, but the only thing I did care about was being with him. I didn’t understand the true meaning of love and now that I have much experience I do. Now that my eyes are open I want to help other people not make the mistakes I made. If you feel like you shouldn’t be in a hurtful relationship, don’t be scared to get out of it because it will be very helpful in the long run.

Be yourself don’t let some chump change who you are and make sure you know all the signs of a relationship going downhill. Think Smart!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Love stinks...

Just recently I've broken up with my ex-boyfriend of 2 horrible and wonderful yrs, but this isn't going to be the last time were going to break up. I mean I have a lot of love for this guy, but he's the type of guy you have to treat like your child due to him being abandoned and neglected as a child.

Every time we break up I know its not going to be the last time because he has the words to get me back into his world. This last time we broke up he cried his heart out to me and I've never seen him act like that before. So I been thinking maybe I should give him another chance and then again he's always getting chances from me because I hate to see people hurt especially if I was the one to cause them to hurt. My mom has been telling me from day one that I needed to get rid of him because she knows when a man is only out for himself and she told me to be careful around him too because he's controlling!

I didn't exactly knew what she meant until we really got deep into our relationship. Awhile back in the summer of '07 he got mad at me because I wouldn't do what he told me to do, I didn't do things he wanted me to do, and as we was arguing an image of my mother popped in my head telling me that he was controlling. I finally realized she was right but love is blind.

When someone like your mother or someone whose known you for a long time, if they warn you about something, take the time out and listen. It may seem like they're hating and showing some signs of jealousy, but it could be that they care about you very much and they just want what's best for you.